Miguel Solorio

I’ve been living in a new place for about 8 months now and I can definitely say it has been a crazy adventure, both good and bad. I’ve realized so many things in my life, like the things that matter most and what to value, and my biggest fear was letting go from where i’ve been. I’m not talking about destroying my past like as it was a mistake. I held on to what I valued most, in which I soon realized didn’t value me in return, and that was what kept me in my circle of insecurity.

I grew up around a lot of people, friends and family which made who I am today and I never regret that, ever. I always had great friends in my life, some that left scars and others the covered them, and I thank God for those who covered and stayed with me. I honestly thought I had a lot: was making a decent amount of money for my age, was driving a decent car, and had decent friends who had decent jobs. This made me believe that I was something I never was, you can call it pride, but I like to call it insecurity. I embraced this because it temporarily filled that void. I definitely had people who really loved me, but I didn’t realize who those people where.

Once I left my hometown in which I spent 20 years of my life, I left everything: my family, friends, church, and job. I was brought into a world I never knew existed, as if I was Bubble Boy, boxed in my own little world. I dove into conversations with people I never knew existed and talked about things I had never thought people could talk about. I was indeed an exile. This fascinated me as I had lived my life thinking one way, talking one way and looking down on those “other” people who were different from me. This new discovery brought me to a place in which I blankly stared at, with no direction or agenda…and I embraced it. I embraced it because I finally chose to let go of everything I was holding onto that brought me down. Soon I realized what was of worth, of value in my life that deserved it. There were many sad moments, but the joy was so overwhelming that there was no need to look back.

I now what I want in my life, who I really am, who God’s been shaping me and molding me to be, responding to His call, and it was all because I chose to let go and jump. I laugh so many times thinking about what I’ve been through, tears of bitter joy overwhelm me, and there are still times where I still hold on to it, but it’s only a matter of time before I will need to jump once again, to break out of my comfort world.

One of my favorite writer/artist wrote something that I recently related to, he writes “I never knew the world until I saw through your eyes, I never knew my self until I ripped off my disguise.” and does that give me so much joy! So much joy to look forward of what’s to come, to see where God takes me on this crazy buck wild adventure we call life.